The Bitter and the Sweet

 

Sara's Bridal Bouquet

from 1938

Because it is close to Valentine's Day, I thought I would share some sweet scenes I have just witnessed in the last two weeks.  My 95 year old mother in law passed away last week, and Clark and I had been in Tupelo for the week leading up to her death and for about a week after.  Not everyone can live their last days at home, but it was Sara's wish to be there, and with the help of hospice and her four wonderful caregivers, her wish came true.  I have never had any experience with hospice care, and Sara never really needed it until her last week of life, because she was doing fairly well with the help of her caregivers.  Sara's mind never failed her; it was her heart that did, and it took a quick turn for the worse about a week before she passed away.  

Her last days were filled with friends, neighbors, Clark and me, sweet caregivers, and  exceptional hospice staff whose job it is to make not only the patient more comfortable but also the family.  They explained what was going on, what to expect, and leveled with us as best they could.  No one knows the minute someone will pass on, but they prepared us so that there would be no surprises.  And of course, you are never really prepared because you have never lost this loved one before, but the compassionate demeanor and respect of the hospice  nurses and staff made the unknown less fearful.  It would be an understatement for me to say that hospice is wonderful and beneficial to everyone involved. 

And then there were Sara's four caregivers who were like family to her and to us.  And the love and respect they showed to Sara was phenomenal.  What a wonderful part they play in so many people's lives.  And if you are blessed enough to have the right people in your home, it's like you have extra family you didn't know you had.  And when you are caring for someone together, you bond pretty quickly.  They came by to see about Sara, even when it was not their time to be there. 

The whole ordeal was difficult for me to watch on two levels: watching Sara as she was leaving this world, and watching Clark struggling to be strong.  And I believe his strength prevailed.  Clark sat beside his mother and held her hand as he helped to escort her to her next life.  And that loving gesture will be something I will always remember.  It was quite an honor, really, to witness.