I really don't love Hillary, but I also think that she is unfairly judged on a number of
issues. One in particular is that if she stayed married to Bill with his cheating ways, then she must condone that behavior.
I have heard from people that because she stayed with Bill, she therefore "stood by her man" which in a lot of people's minds is a strike against her and women's rights. I tend to think that it is a woman's right to decide whether it is best for her and her family to stay and try to work things out. It is tough either way when you have been betrayed, especially in the public forum. I was a child of a father who cheated, and then I went and married someone who did the same thing. In my father's case, I scolded him (I was 14) and the outcome was that he quit speaking to me and his mother (my grandmother) disowned me, and I did not see her side of the family until after her death. Most people don't know that about my dad because he rarely let on that there was a problem. We worked things out later, but I was trying so hard in my own marriage to make things work and regain trust because I knew first hand what the ramifications are for the kids as well as the parents and grandparents in a split-up. When my ex first ran around on me, I was but 33. I did not want to give up on my family for dozens and dozens of reasons. And those reasons are different for everyone. And he appeared to want to stay, so we tried---and 14 years later he did it again ( with some sprinkled in between probably) and tried to mask his adultery with his spending problems, but we were done because I knew. I knew because the same behavior patterns surfaced. I did not think our marriage was worth fighting for by myself. I was older, and wiser and the kids were older and even though I knew it was going to be tough (and it was) I was through being married to a cheater and the emotional drama de jour.
Maybe Hillary and Bill love each other and they've worked through it. Maybe they have a system that works, or maybe they will split up sometime in the future. But knowing what I know from a child's standpoint and a wife's standpoint who has gone through a betrayal of the worst kind, "standing by your man" is not what I would call it. It's something we are called to do---forgiveness. And maybe it worked for them.
issues. One in particular is that if she stayed married to Bill with his cheating ways, then she must condone that behavior.
I have heard from people that because she stayed with Bill, she therefore "stood by her man" which in a lot of people's minds is a strike against her and women's rights. I tend to think that it is a woman's right to decide whether it is best for her and her family to stay and try to work things out. It is tough either way when you have been betrayed, especially in the public forum. I was a child of a father who cheated, and then I went and married someone who did the same thing. In my father's case, I scolded him (I was 14) and the outcome was that he quit speaking to me and his mother (my grandmother) disowned me, and I did not see her side of the family until after her death. Most people don't know that about my dad because he rarely let on that there was a problem. We worked things out later, but I was trying so hard in my own marriage to make things work and regain trust because I knew first hand what the ramifications are for the kids as well as the parents and grandparents in a split-up. When my ex first ran around on me, I was but 33. I did not want to give up on my family for dozens and dozens of reasons. And those reasons are different for everyone. And he appeared to want to stay, so we tried---and 14 years later he did it again ( with some sprinkled in between probably) and tried to mask his adultery with his spending problems, but we were done because I knew. I knew because the same behavior patterns surfaced. I did not think our marriage was worth fighting for by myself. I was older, and wiser and the kids were older and even though I knew it was going to be tough (and it was) I was through being married to a cheater and the emotional drama de jour.
Maybe Hillary and Bill love each other and they've worked through it. Maybe they have a system that works, or maybe they will split up sometime in the future. But knowing what I know from a child's standpoint and a wife's standpoint who has gone through a betrayal of the worst kind, "standing by your man" is not what I would call it. It's something we are called to do---forgiveness. And maybe it worked for them.
