Another Year Older

I have turned the corner.  I am in my "late" sixties and I am blessed to have my sweet family living close to me now.  I hope I have learned something over the past years so that they will continue to want to be near me!  I am trying to work on my insides because my outsides are showing my 67 years and it's not particularly pretty.  The grandkids stare at my spots and my wrinkles. It is so weird to see pictures of myself, because I don't always recognize me with the gray hair, the wrinkles, and the weird body shape.  Is that really me? To have some sort of balance, I have made a list of the things I would tell my 16 year old self if she would have listened, because while your outsides are declining, your insides can be improving and who doesn't like a nice head start?

So, 16 year old Corlea:

1. You are not always right.  You may think you are, but thinking you are can sometimes lead to your being even more wrong.  

2. Let it go.  For God's sake. Let it go. See # 1.  

3. Be quiet.  Even if someone ( a close friend, a family member) asks your opinion, they more than likely just want validation.If you don't agree with them, be vanilla. If they really want your opinion, they will usually come back to you with a more serious tone.

4. Do things that bring you joy. Whatever that is!  Because if you have joy, you will be able to spread it.  Joy is contagious that way.  

5. Don't skip out on God.  It will be easy to do, especially if things are going right for you.  You need to know there is more than just you out there!  Trust me, there are bumps in the road, abysses even.  Your Heavenly Father is going to be there for you in both times.  If you have love, you can spread it.  Love is contagious that way. 

6. Listen.  Listen to your friends, listen to good music, listen to your kids, listen to the outdoors. Listen to good stuff.  You know the difference. 

7. Opposites do not attract. Magnets do. You are not a magnet.    

8. Don't take too long to forgive. 

9. "As a man thinks, so he is".  Dwell on good stuff.  Good begets good.  My 67 year old self has witnessed this.  

10. Ask for help when you need it.  That goes for physical, psychological, directional even.  It is not a sign of weakness.

11. It's Ok if not everybody likes you. You don't have to be a pleaser.  Just be kind.

Well, I have my work cut out for me for the next year.  And just think-- what  if 16 year old Corlea had read and worked on this list for the last half century?  

What a difference 50 years makes.  

Fantastic Voyage

As I zip up my backpack to put it up for who knows how long, I wonder where I will carry it next.  It is a little sad to come home from a long awaited adventure and not know what will happen around the corner.  I think it is important to have something to look forward to no matter how big or small.  
I was pretty nervous about this "Trip of a Lifetime".  When I hear that phrase, it usually means that I will have experiences out of my control and out of my comfort zone.  Both of which happened on this trip.   
 Here were my fears not in any particular order:
1. Would  I come face to face with a bear or a mountain lion? 
2. Would I be constantly cold?  
3. Would I be able to keep up with the younger folks on the trip?
4. Would I be able to paddle for five days in a row with tendonitis in my right shoulder? 
5. Would I be able to poop?
6. Could I manage to sleep on the ground for a week without being sleep deprived?
7. Would there be anybody on the trip that I would enjoy being with?
I had to ask myself if I would let these fears trump the one-of-a-kind beautiful experience that I was blessed with and sharing with my soul mate. (who had absolutely none of my trepidation)
So I got ready:
I prepared for the trip the best I could by researching and listening to Kathy who had done it before. (Thank you, thank you!) I unpacked two extra pairs of shorts so I would have room for my pillow. I packed lots of layers realizing I could stuff things into my dry bag as the day warmed up. I rode my bike an hour a day 5 days a week and walked as much as possible. I bought a Tilley hat and lots of sunscreen. The rest was not in my control.  
So on day one the beauty and the magnificence of the Middle Fork of the Salmon River and the expertise of the guides dissolved any creature discomfort I might have whined about. The astounding beauty of the Frank Church Wilderness was incredible. I learned about the families rafting with us--they all had a life story. I learned about the land and the homesteaders who loved it and lived on it, the hermit, Earl Parott, who lived on the river in almost total seclusion, the Native Americans who called the Middle Fork their home, the waterfalls of the Impassable Canyon. We came to hot springs along the trip just when the weather was turning chilly. But not everything was perfect and not everything was comfortable. It was not supposed to be.   
 And I realized that the only way to be fully in the moment of that wilderness was to forget about all the things that would keep me from the joy of that moment. I did return from the "River of no Return" wanting to go on another adventure.  A fantastic voyage-much like life.