Talk about Treasures!

While going through Sara's belongings in the last few weeks, Clark and I discovered some fantastic family treasures that were outside in the storage room.  We were surprised to find them there, and carefully brought them into the house in the torn up box they were in for who knows how long, and began to look through them. I am not talking about money or jewelry or antiques; I am talking about Sara's keepsakes: wedding pictures, photographs from her childhood, her Tri Delta group photo from Ole Miss circa 1935, and  beautiful portraits of her at age 18 to name a few.  We were just sick about finding these priceless items in the same room off the garage that houses the used flower pots, garden tools, step ladders, empty jars, and multiple spider webs--not to mention the mold.  But there they were in the corner on the shelf.  We even found one of the straw hats worn by the bride's maids in Sara and Cy's wedding.  And it was adorable.  I usually do not give unsolicited advice on this blog, (I do enough of that with my family) but sometimes someone else's experiences help others, and I hope that this is one of those times.  So here's what I want to express:
How fun and meaningful it would have been for Sara and for us if we had gotten out all of these items while she was alive.  She could have given us details of who was who in some of the photographs, and I know she would have enjoyed us being interested.  And we could have told her how beautiful her photographs are.  I don't know anyone who doesn't want to hear something good about themselves!  We just didn't know they were out there. And there aren't too many family members or friends left to help us figure out who everyone is in some of the photos.  So, if you still have your parents or grandparents, or any family member who would enjoy discussing their past with you, I encourage you to get out the photo albums with all the little triangular black photo holders that are falling apart and take a walk down memory lane with them.  You will be so glad you did. 
I think the reason Sara didn't do that with us is that she either forgot about them, or she just didn't think we'd be all that interested.  And there was probably a time when Clark was younger and not intrigued by his mother's old photographs and letters.  But he is now, and I know he wishes he had had the chance to spend an afternoon with his mom learning things about her he might not ever know.  We are grateful for her wonderful keepsakes, and rest in the knowledge that she would be happy that we will be cleaning, refurbishing, and preserving those things she kept in that torn up box for so long.   

The Bitter and the Sweet

 

Sara's Bridal Bouquet

from 1938

Because it is close to Valentine's Day, I thought I would share some sweet scenes I have just witnessed in the last two weeks.  My 95 year old mother in law passed away last week, and Clark and I had been in Tupelo for the week leading up to her death and for about a week after.  Not everyone can live their last days at home, but it was Sara's wish to be there, and with the help of hospice and her four wonderful caregivers, her wish came true.  I have never had any experience with hospice care, and Sara never really needed it until her last week of life, because she was doing fairly well with the help of her caregivers.  Sara's mind never failed her; it was her heart that did, and it took a quick turn for the worse about a week before she passed away.  

Her last days were filled with friends, neighbors, Clark and me, sweet caregivers, and  exceptional hospice staff whose job it is to make not only the patient more comfortable but also the family.  They explained what was going on, what to expect, and leveled with us as best they could.  No one knows the minute someone will pass on, but they prepared us so that there would be no surprises.  And of course, you are never really prepared because you have never lost this loved one before, but the compassionate demeanor and respect of the hospice  nurses and staff made the unknown less fearful.  It would be an understatement for me to say that hospice is wonderful and beneficial to everyone involved. 

And then there were Sara's four caregivers who were like family to her and to us.  And the love and respect they showed to Sara was phenomenal.  What a wonderful part they play in so many people's lives.  And if you are blessed enough to have the right people in your home, it's like you have extra family you didn't know you had.  And when you are caring for someone together, you bond pretty quickly.  They came by to see about Sara, even when it was not their time to be there. 

The whole ordeal was difficult for me to watch on two levels: watching Sara as she was leaving this world, and watching Clark struggling to be strong.  And I believe his strength prevailed.  Clark sat beside his mother and held her hand as he helped to escort her to her next life.  And that loving gesture will be something I will always remember.  It was quite an honor, really, to witness.