That's what we read online in preparation for obtaining a Tennessee driver's license: bring two documents that prove your new address and one proof of U.S. citizenship. And that's what we took. ha
We knew going in that the Tennessee Department of Safety is not the most efficient department in Tennessee. We also knew we were going head to head with them, because there is no other way to get a new driver's license. We were hoping to get it done with the least hassle possible. yeah, right
Clark took off work early, so we could get a head start on the Friday afternoon sixteen year olds. We researched online where to go and what to bring, so there would be no problems. whatever
Mistake # 1. going to the nearest Tennessee Department of Safety Office suggested online--it is no longer open---- 20 minutes wasted
Mistake # 2. going to the NEXT nearest office and getting turned away because the line was already forming outside. A young lady in line overheard us saying that we were new to Memphis, and she told us that we were about to REALLY miss being wherever we came from. A little foreshadowing there, aaaaaand--- another 20 minutes wasted.
So we drive about 20 more minutes to another TDS office and arrive about 3:00. We are already an hour behind before we begin! We queue up and wait another 20 minutes just to get inside, but at least we do not get turned away here. When we get to talk to a real person, she looks at our documents and tells us that I have the correct papers, but Clark does not. We had brought our lease agreement with our signatures and new address, the change of address verification from the U.S.Post Office, and my personal credit card bill with our new address. We also brought along our passports. We thought that would do the trick and when the lady behind the desk who I will refer to from now on as the License Nazi, told Clark he did not have the correct documents, we were baffled. You see, the U.S. Post Office document had only "Burnett" as the addressee and not our first names, so it didn't count as proof. The credit card bill was in my name, so no luck there for Clark.
License Nazi:"Uh, do you have your marriage license?"
Clark:"No, I don't happen to have it on me."
License Nazi: "Well, if you had it, then you could prove that you were married to Mrs. Burnett, so that her credit card bill would be your other proof of residence." Makes perfect sense, right? Because Clark could have found that U.S. Post Office card that was mailed to us with the name Burnett on it ANYWHERE, or he could have stolen it out of a mailbox or some such thing. I mean COME ON! But we can tell the License Nazi is not going to give in, so Clark asked how long they would be open so that he could make the 30 minute drive back home to get a copy of our marriage license and get back before closing.
Mistake # 3: I left my cell phone in the car because we were not allowed to bring them in, so once Clark left, I could not update him on how long it was taking to get your number called.
Mistake # 4: Leaving my glasses at home. Since the cell phone was in the car with Clark making the trek to fetch the marriage license, there was no way to tell him to bring them back with him, in order for me to SEE TO PASS THE VISION TEST!
My number is finally called, and I go up to another section of the counter and this lady is very nice. She makes copies of my documents and asks me to put my chin in the vision machine and I stall a little and then decide I'll just go with my prescription sun glasses, because, for heaven's sake, I don't want to stop this process, and there are lots of people still behind me licking their chops to have their turn. I put on my shades, stick my chin on the rest, and begin to read the letters. I miss one... or two. The lady asks me to read another line. I miss one... or two. She tells me I have one more chance to read the line correctly, and by the grace of God, I nail it. So now all I have to do is wait for my photo in yet another line, and of course, wait for Clark.......who is taking a very long time to get back.
I keep looking at the door, and I'm watching people inching forward for their turn with the License Nazi, and I keep looking at the clock, because the Nazi told Clark the cut-off time was 4:30 and it is getting close to 4:00. Finally, finally, Clark comes in looking a little distraught, so I join him at the counter thinking maybe he couldn't find our marriage license, but all was well.......or so I thought. Here's how it went down: ( it's like something out of SNL )
Clark: "Here's my paperwork you said was necessary."
LN: "You are here too late. We have closed for the day."
Clark: "What? You're kidding, right? You said you would be open till 4:30! You said 4:30!"
LN: "Do I look like a fortune teller to you? I am not a fortune teller." And she is not making eye contact---very bad sign. "Too many people showed up and we are not taking any more today. You can come back on Monday." ( I am about to jump in here, but Clark gives me the don't do it look.)
Clark: "Look, you told me 4:30 and I am here a little after 4:00. You knew I was going home to get the marriage license. Couldn't you just let me in?"
LN: repeats the fortune teller line and then she says, "The lady in charge told me not to let anybody else in here and that's what I'm going to do."
Clark: "Could I please speak to that lady, or could you tell her my circumstances?"
LN: 'You don't want to talk to ME?" repeats question.... at which time I wanted to jump the counter. But of course, that was just in my mind. She could have taken me and besides, there was a policeman listening in and agreeing with the LN. are you kidding?
So the LN went to the back, "checked" with whoever was in the driver's seat, and came back with a go ahead. THANK GOODNESS for power over power mongers.
By this time I had finished the entire process, and Clark had not begun. He and I watched practically every person finish and leave, but when his turn finally arrived, it went without a hitch. So, we got what we came for......
Mistake #5: Thinking that we could get a driver's license in Memphis and walk away having had a good experience, because we were prepared. We just weren't prepared for the License Nazi.
Clark took off work early, so we could get a head start on the Friday afternoon sixteen year olds. We researched online where to go and what to bring, so there would be no problems. whatever
Mistake # 1. going to the nearest Tennessee Department of Safety Office suggested online--it is no longer open---- 20 minutes wasted
Mistake # 2. going to the NEXT nearest office and getting turned away because the line was already forming outside. A young lady in line overheard us saying that we were new to Memphis, and she told us that we were about to REALLY miss being wherever we came from. A little foreshadowing there, aaaaaand--- another 20 minutes wasted.
So we drive about 20 more minutes to another TDS office and arrive about 3:00. We are already an hour behind before we begin! We queue up and wait another 20 minutes just to get inside, but at least we do not get turned away here. When we get to talk to a real person, she looks at our documents and tells us that I have the correct papers, but Clark does not. We had brought our lease agreement with our signatures and new address, the change of address verification from the U.S.Post Office, and my personal credit card bill with our new address. We also brought along our passports. We thought that would do the trick and when the lady behind the desk who I will refer to from now on as the License Nazi, told Clark he did not have the correct documents, we were baffled. You see, the U.S. Post Office document had only "Burnett" as the addressee and not our first names, so it didn't count as proof. The credit card bill was in my name, so no luck there for Clark.
License Nazi:"Uh, do you have your marriage license?"
Clark:"No, I don't happen to have it on me."
License Nazi: "Well, if you had it, then you could prove that you were married to Mrs. Burnett, so that her credit card bill would be your other proof of residence." Makes perfect sense, right? Because Clark could have found that U.S. Post Office card that was mailed to us with the name Burnett on it ANYWHERE, or he could have stolen it out of a mailbox or some such thing. I mean COME ON! But we can tell the License Nazi is not going to give in, so Clark asked how long they would be open so that he could make the 30 minute drive back home to get a copy of our marriage license and get back before closing.
Mistake # 3: I left my cell phone in the car because we were not allowed to bring them in, so once Clark left, I could not update him on how long it was taking to get your number called.
Mistake # 4: Leaving my glasses at home. Since the cell phone was in the car with Clark making the trek to fetch the marriage license, there was no way to tell him to bring them back with him, in order for me to SEE TO PASS THE VISION TEST!
My number is finally called, and I go up to another section of the counter and this lady is very nice. She makes copies of my documents and asks me to put my chin in the vision machine and I stall a little and then decide I'll just go with my prescription sun glasses, because, for heaven's sake, I don't want to stop this process, and there are lots of people still behind me licking their chops to have their turn. I put on my shades, stick my chin on the rest, and begin to read the letters. I miss one... or two. The lady asks me to read another line. I miss one... or two. She tells me I have one more chance to read the line correctly, and by the grace of God, I nail it. So now all I have to do is wait for my photo in yet another line, and of course, wait for Clark.......who is taking a very long time to get back.
I keep looking at the door, and I'm watching people inching forward for their turn with the License Nazi, and I keep looking at the clock, because the Nazi told Clark the cut-off time was 4:30 and it is getting close to 4:00. Finally, finally, Clark comes in looking a little distraught, so I join him at the counter thinking maybe he couldn't find our marriage license, but all was well.......or so I thought. Here's how it went down: ( it's like something out of SNL )
Clark: "Here's my paperwork you said was necessary."
LN: "You are here too late. We have closed for the day."
Clark: "What? You're kidding, right? You said you would be open till 4:30! You said 4:30!"
LN: "Do I look like a fortune teller to you? I am not a fortune teller." And she is not making eye contact---very bad sign. "Too many people showed up and we are not taking any more today. You can come back on Monday." ( I am about to jump in here, but Clark gives me the don't do it look.)
Clark: "Look, you told me 4:30 and I am here a little after 4:00. You knew I was going home to get the marriage license. Couldn't you just let me in?"
LN: repeats the fortune teller line and then she says, "The lady in charge told me not to let anybody else in here and that's what I'm going to do."
Clark: "Could I please speak to that lady, or could you tell her my circumstances?"
LN: 'You don't want to talk to ME?" repeats question.... at which time I wanted to jump the counter. But of course, that was just in my mind. She could have taken me and besides, there was a policeman listening in and agreeing with the LN. are you kidding?
So the LN went to the back, "checked" with whoever was in the driver's seat, and came back with a go ahead. THANK GOODNESS for power over power mongers.
By this time I had finished the entire process, and Clark had not begun. He and I watched practically every person finish and leave, but when his turn finally arrived, it went without a hitch. So, we got what we came for......
Mistake #5: Thinking that we could get a driver's license in Memphis and walk away having had a good experience, because we were prepared. We just weren't prepared for the License Nazi.
1 comment:
I think you have to add a +1 for Montgomery here, or a -1 for Memphis, or maybe BOTH!
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