Hattie Elizabeth

Hattie arrived Sunday night after Thanksgiving. Clark and I were already at Katie and Adam's for Turkey Day, so Hattie was very accommodating.  Katie had another natural birthing experience, and I just don't know how she does it.  She's a strong soul, that one.  I am a very proud mommy and an especially proud Mimi.  Just look at that sweet baby girl..... so much to be thankful for.  

Free Fallin'

Leah and Paul  and their boys drove back to Austin yesterday after visiting us for about a week in Memphis.  The 12 hour drive must have been excruciating, and we were so grateful they took the time and trouble to visit us.   The boys are at the magical ages of 2 and 5 and everything is new and wonderful.  I enjoyed just watching them discovering things that we take for granted....like leaves.  I will admit leaves are a nuisance when they pile up on your steps so that you cannot even see where to put your feet, but I have resisted blowing  (I hate that noise) and bagging them and was so glad I had plenty on the ground when the boys were here.  Henry and I had fun identifying the types of leaves and I sent him home with a box full.  My mother spent several days with the little guys, and it was so sweet to see them interact with her.  Henry and I raked leaves for about 2 hours one afternoon with Mama looking on, and the above photo is the result.  I don't guess there is any way to go back and grab the delight of jumping in a big pile of freshly fallen leaves, but we were doing a pretty good job of enjoying ourselves just watching Leah and Paul's offspring. When the November days are clear and warm here in Memphis, it's as good as it gets.  I am grateful for the sweet gift of grandchildren.  Happy Thanksgiving!

                          

Adjustments or What I've Learned from my Mother the last 2 Weeks

My mother dancing at a Breast Cancer Awareness "Pink Party"

I am becoming more and more aware that we all are in a constant state of adjustment: to what life throws at us, to people who disappoint us, to misconceptions that surprise us, and to new ideas and/or new places.  And watching my mother adjust to a new home, new friends, new medicines, new doctors, and a new routine gives me hope.  I never dreamed my mother would transition so well in the first 2 weeks  from her home of about 50 years to an apartment in assisted living in Memphis.  She is homesick, of course, but she is trying to adjust.  It's not what she chose, not what she bargained for, but there it is.  And having Lewy Body Disease is certainly not a disease selection she would have chosen.  But she is a fighter and she is a "pusher througher".  Something I hope to be able to be when my chips are down.  Some things you just cannot change or reverse but you can adjust !  "For your Father knows what you need before you ask Him."  Mathew 6:8

What Time Is It?

For the last month or so, I have been packing, visiting Mama, moving, and unpacking.  The trips to Blytheville have been a good break from the moving chaos, but have also been heart wrenching.  Yesterday, my sister, Peggy, and I took Mama to a neurologist because we wanted to get a definitive diagnosis.  It was as we had suspected: Lewy Body Disease.  If you haven't heard of it, it is very similar to Alzheimer's but has some differences.  One of the main differences is that the plaques in the brain are diffused so that not just one area is affected.  Sometimes you see things that are not there--mostly people---in Mama's case there have been people that she thought she recognized or knew from somewhere but was not too familiar with. Just imagine how weird it must be to tell someone that you have seen people in your home at all hours of the night and the reaction you would get.  I mean your brain is telling you they are there!  And no one believes you. It's got to be so frustrating and confusing.  Yesterday Mama asked us what time it was about 10 times in a 10 minute period because she did not remember what we had just told her.  This disease is a cruel one, and like Alzheimer's, is difficult to witness.  She continues to have a sense of humor and at times is her "old self".  We still laugh a lot and she has the capacity to laugh at herself... something all of us, especially me, could do more of.  She has friends and family who drop by, but the phone calls are tough.  Most people want her to recognize who they are, of course.  And sometimes she does, and other times she doesn't.  It's not that she doesn't love that person or want to remember, it's just that her brain has barriers that keep her from connecting.  Right now she is "in the moment"  and may not remember much about the conversation she just had, but she loved every minute of it while you were talking to her.  And that is a wonderful thing!  I think diseases like this one cut to the chase.  What time is it?  It's time to love, to enjoy, to forgive, and to show grace. 

Have Family Will Travel

As soon as I got back from helping Katie with her two girls for a little over two weeks, I washed my clothes, repacked, jumped in the car, and headed East with Clark for his annual business trip to the Carolinas.  It was not a vacation.  It was driving to small communities, waiting on Clark in the car, sitting in the lobby of a mill, or hanging out in the hotel while he visited the mill owners to talk about this year's cotton yield, or the market, or whatever else a cotton merchant would discuss with his client.  We did get to see Clark's daughter, Casey, and her husband, and some good friends along the way, but I also managed a lost/stolen iphone4 in the process.  It was pretty tough coming back to the hotel to no cell phone--not just any cell phone-- but my friend, Kathy, filled in the gap with an extra phone she had that happened to be with the same carrier as ours.  It saved my life, because I was trying to keep in touch with Katie and my mom while we were on the road.  Thanks, again, Kathy!  
We cut our trip short about a week, because Mama was not doing well about a week into our trip.  Her hip had mended nicely, but her confusion was drastically worse.  I believe I had my last real conversation with her while she was in rehab, but I didn't know it at the time. .... which makes me want to scream to everybody to enjoy and love your family as much as you can as often as you can because you have today.....period.  And don't think about yesterday if it was yucky, because you are not going to profit one bit from going back, rehashing, or doing the shoulda, coulda, woulda thing.  Just take the good stuff and learn from the bad stuff.  (I know this is sounding preachy, but I am emotional right now.) 
Life is truly shorter than I imagined, and as I visit with Mama, I understand more what she meant when she told me over and over in my adult years to: "Go, Do, honey".  And I hope to go and do as much as possible.  There are so many things to go and do here in Memphis and where my kids and grandkids are, not to mention all the other options we have in today's world that can make a difference.  It's a good thing that Clark is a "goer" and a "doer" because he's a good one to take with.........

Hi Ho Cherry-O and other Hits I remember

On the porch with Maylee

We eat ice cream cones just about every evening on the porch after dinner.    

Here I am in Houston 10 days now and I am enjoying the grandkids and the exhausting cycle of a preschooler's day.  Hi Ho Cherry-O is a hit with Emma Kate, but Maylee just likes to mix up the fruit into the baskets.  I remember my Hi Ho Cherry-O had wooden cherries that were much bigger than these tiny plastic pieces of fruit.  Things just aren't what they used to be.......
 Other fun stuff I introduced to the girls: "Mother May I?" and Slap Jack.  I remember liking both of those, but not so much now.  Slap Jack is ......just so....boring.  But Emma Kate gets such a kick out of it, it is hard to say no when she wants to play the millionth time. And I totally forgot that you are completely at the whim of the "Mother" in MMI.  It is she and she alone who determines if you are a winner or a loser.  Emma Kate caught on to that pretty quickly.  

I have noticed that the family dynamic has changed since I was a parent of small kids.  Here is what I see:
1. not as much TV around here as I exposed my kids to--we watched "Today's Special", "Bozo the Clown", "The Electric Company", "Sesame Street", "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood" and anything else I thought was worth viewing.  Hmmmmm......maybe I overdid it on the TV watching???
2. Almost everybody is "plugged in" to the computer or iphone at one time or another for very long periods of time.  Sometimes at night I stare at FB or google something random, because everyone else is googling, reading, working, or watching a movie on the computer.  So what I see is the internet is taking the place of TV BIG TIME.  at this house anyway.  Even the 2 year old and the 4 year old enjoy the family videos and games that the iphone or computer offer.  
This is by no means a criticism.  Just an observation.   
One thing, however, seems to have remained constant:
The kids rule.
So, some things never change.  

Hold the Onions

G.K., a longtime friend of mine, posted on my FB page that she was thinking of me in the "sandwich" season I am in right now.  A couple of days after Mama's surgery, Katie, who is 19 weeks pregnant, called me from California where she and Adam and the girls were attending Adam's cousin's wedding.  She said she had some complications, so they went to an ER close to where they were staying.  She consulted an OB and they were cleared to fly a day after they were scheduled to come home.  She is now home and on bed rest until further notice.  I am headed out there this week, after Mama goes home on Tuesday.  
It is a huge blessing to have my parents and my children and grandchildren.  I am so glad that I am able to help on both ends.  I haven't experienced wanting to be two places at once, though,  and it is frustrating.  Mama goes home Tuesday, and after that, I will head to Texas to help Katie with the girls.  I am praying that everyone will be just fine---it will just take time for both of these girls that are so important to me.  I will go to Texas armed with Hi Ho Cherry-O and a few princess surprises.  Mama is going home with terrific ladies who have been helping us in the  hospital and at Rehab. ......  and I wondered what I would be doing once I got to Memphis!  The house renovation has taken a back seat but I have a great contractor and Clark to fill in the gaps.  I did make a huge boo boo on one of the paint colors and didn't notice it until the room was painted a gosh awful aqua. 
So as far as the sandwich, I am enjoying it most of the time---just don't want anymore onions, that you.