I Keep Reliving It

2:00 in the morning. Just getting home from ER. Got everything you need?Silly, I've been here before.Hid the throw rug under the bed.Ensure in the cooler.Sure you have everything? Forgot toothbrush.No worries I've got extra.New tube of Crest.Time to get in bed.Love you love you too.So tired.One more check.Brushing her teeth. Climbed into bed.Pillow feels so good.Heard something.Faint bumps.Go back to sleep.Not time to get up yet.Clark making coffee.Can't find your mother! Ran to the kitchen.Heard the moans.Tiny little body crumpled at the bottom.Clark already there.These are so steep.No, don't move her!Holding her hand.Mama, lie still.Don't try to get up. It sounded crispy like Cheerios.I think it's my hip.Try not to move.911.What is your emergency?How many stairs?About 25 feet.Spell what?T-I S-H-O-M-I-N....Clark, here, finish 911.I need to be with her.How long have you been here?OMG.This doesn't seem real.I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry.Terror.Don't show it.You'll be OK You'll be OK.They're here.So many big men with boards and red straps.How far did she fall?Can't get her out.Little body scrunched up against the door.Jammed against the first step.Door opens in.Nowhere to go.Get her out.Try not to cry.Stay calm.Take off your pjs.Put on some clothes.Grab your purse and hers.Running.Riding in the ambulance.Siren.Every bump a moan.Why did he drive down Poplar?No traffic on Walnut Grove.Don't throw up.Keep it together.We're almost there, Mom.Just a few more minutes.You're doing great,Mama.Good morning.What is your mother's social?